Back to the Vampire Resources Department this week with three more drabbles. Enjoy.
Death and Taxes
The door to my office swung open, and an irate vampire stormed inside.
“Death taxes! Again. Why do I have to pay these taxes? I’m not dead.”
I stared, replying, “Well, technically you are.”
He huffed, “Yes, but still. Every new identity comes with death taxes on my ancestral house. It’s not fair.”
“Fair is not a factor. If you want to continue to inherit your house each time you “die”, then taxes must be paid. The alternative is to sell your property.”
“Sell? The ancestral mansion? Never!”
“Then pay your taxes. Please close the door on your way out.”
Frivolity Rules
“How did you manage to incur a 10,000 dollar bill for a Halloween party!” I glared over my desk at the pouty goth vampire slouched in a chair. “With 5,000 for damages?”
She shrugged. “Blame the bat piñatas. Selene has a terrible sense of aim. She kept hitting the walls.”
“Well, that may be, but Vampire Resources is moving the charge to your account, not our corporate fund. We don’t do unauthorized frivolity.”
“But it was a vampire mixer. You’re supposed to pay for those,” she whined.
“We pay for authorized mixers, not vampire frat parties. Good day.”
Coffin Tales
A sad-looking vampire sat in my office staring at his toes, while I reviewed his paper work.
“You’re requesting a new…” I checked the form, “coffin? Not a common demand anymore.”
He mumbled, “I’m old school.”
“We’ll need to know what happened to the previous coffin before authorizing a new one.”
“Um, ah.” He wiggled in his chair. “Do you really need that information?”
“Yes, legal requirements, I’m afraid.”
He sighed. “Very well, it’s rather embarrassing, though. It, um, broke. During a, um, well, a night of, um… romance. Vigorous romance.”
“Oh. I see.” I cleared my throat. “Request approved.”
Be Afraid of the Dark 
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