Another round of the The Flying Monkey Genetic Laboratory Saga. Enjoy.
Mad Science and Tracy- Part 2
Here I was, anxiously watching an armadillo-dinosaur, hybrid clone suck up her fifth pink lemonade through a yellow straw. Tracy seemed calm, especially considering her recent shoplifting rampage through the downtown district. She even stole the mayor’s red corvette to use as her getaway vehicle.
Now the police were involved, and a S.W.A.T team surrounded the café, guns drawn. Their negotiator tried to get Tracy to surrender, but so far her only communication was to throw an ugly shoe in his direction. I was hoping she would submit peacefully, but now I’m going to have to go with Plan B…
Mad Science and Tracy- Part 3
“Make sure you check the valves.” I hissed at my assistant, Igor, as we crouched out of sight. “The anesthetic has to knock out the cops, Tracy, everybody.”
He nodded, examining the apparatus as we donned our gas masks and I opened the canister valves. Within minutes bodies dropped like flies, except for Tracy; she simply staggered around, making odd noises.
“Here.” I drew my trank gun and pushed Igor into the street. “Lure her out.”
Tracy charged, as Igor ran away screaming, and one shot took Tracy down. We loaded her into the cryo-chamber and headed for the lab.
Mad Science and Tracy – Part 4
I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.
My report must be filed and it was either the sink or hanging from the ceiling fan. The rest of the kitchen is now in the basement with several of the Tracy clones.
I blame Igor. That stupid idiot hit the infinite button on the cloning machine when we were fixing Tracy’s DNA. Now the lab’s overrun with Tracy clones causing mayhem and eating the yogurt. Thank heavens for the explosive floors and lockdown procedures.
I’m initiating the kill switch on the clones. We’ll have to start the Tracy project from scratch.
Welcome to my second series of drabbles, The Flying Monkey Genetic Laboratory Saga (but don’t worry Frankie and Joni will be back). These are the misadventures of mad science, enjoy…
We Don’t Serve Brains!
I never thought meeting Kate would be so traumatic, but then again I never expected her to be a zombie with a taste for brains. Frankly, I was gobsmacked.
The evening began with a real-world party to celebrate the first-anniversary milestone for our online science club. Then the lights went out, and the screams started. We restored power to find Tracy and Mike dead, their heads bashed in, and Kate eating parts of Tracy’s brain with a spoon. More screams resonated and everybody scattered, Kate in pursuit.
Me, I’m always prepared; I retrieved my zombie killing kit from my car…
Oh, the carnage.
I took Kate down but not until she wiped out poor Lenny and Priscilla. That’s when I called in my employers, Flying Monkey Genetic Laboratories for clean up. Efficient as always, their technicians swooped in and erased the evidence of zombie Kate and her victims. And of course, I took carefully prepared samples for study. I believe Kate’s zombie attributes were part of a project from our rival lab Raccoon Umbrella Genetics. Corporate will want proof.
Plus, you never know.
I have a little project of my own I’m working on. Human DNA samples will be useful.
Mad Science and Tracy
In my younger years, my father gave me some advice I never understood until now.
After the zombie incident, I seized the unexpected opportunity for my research. With the secretly obtained DNA of one of the victims, Tracy, I engineered her clone. Everything seemed fine at first. All the tests were positive, but then the odd behaviours started: the burrowing, the rolling into a ball, the insect eating. I guess we shouldn’t have spliced in those armadillo genes.
Now she’s packed up and gone missing. I shudder to think what will happen when the T-Rex DNA kicks in.
And we come to our last Drabble Wednesday for 2020. I’ll be back in the new year with more stories and introduce the Flying Monkey Genetic Laboratories to everyone. But for today, enjoy these three holiday tales from Frankie and Joni.
Frankie’s Twelve Typos of Christmas
“Frankie, I thought you said the Christmas show was finished?”
“It is. All twelve days are there and working.”
“Then come here and explain it to me.”
A grumpy Frankie joined me. “What’s wrong?”
“Um, it’s kind of obvious. You have five gold wings, not rings. There are shrimp swimming in a tank of water. And why are the geese praying?”
“They’re prawns not shrimp. And that’s what the lyric sheet they sent me said. Five golden wings, six geese a praying, and seven prawns a swimming.”
I sighed. “Oh. So it’s corporate’s fault for a change. Good to know.”
Frankie and Joni’s Christmas Party
“What were you thinking!” I screamed at Frankie as we ran through the halls of… “What is this
“Um, that I wanted to ride in the Tardis? And it’s the palace of something or other. I forget! Oh,
they’re getting closer!”
“Oh, crap! What’s the Tardis have to do with our virtual Christmas party?”
“You know, bigger on the inside and all that! It made a fun venue! I mean before—” Laser fire
hit the wall and he sped past me. “I didn’t think this would happen!”
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have invited the Daleks! Now keep running!”
“Merry Christmas!” Frankie grinned past a forkful of pumpkin pie. Accompanying his well wishes were the snores of a well fed cat and guinea pig.
I grinned back. Our pets were friends now, or at least had a truce of sorts, and a fine holiday dinner went off without a hitch this time. “And Happy New Year! May all our troubles disappear.”
“And may all our days have pumpkin pie!” Frankie popped the forkful of pie in his mouth and ate it with gusto. I took a bite of my dessert with a bit more decorum.
“Happy Holidays to everyone.”
Three more installments of the Fluffy and Fluffernutter saga. Next week (hopefully) will be holiday themed stories and then I take a break until January.
“Are you sure this thing is safe?”
Frankie nodded. “Perfectly. And the language translator will tell us exactly what Fluffy is saying. Still think this is a weird idea though.”
I sighed. “Hook him up.”
Frankie strapped an indignant Fluffy into the machine. I waited a beat, and asked, “What are you up to?”
Fluffy squeaked and the machine droned, “Trying to rule the cats.”
I blinked. “What? Why?”
“Yeah,” Frankie added. “Isn’t that an exercise in futility? Cats never listen.”
Fluffy scuffed his little paws. “Okay, you got me. It was about revenge. I wanted revenge on the cat.”
The Plot Thickens
“What did Fluffernutter ever do to you” Frankie stared at Fluffy with a mixture of indignation and shock on his face.
“Are you serious?” Fluffy danced excitedly, squeaking, “He freaking tried to eat me!”
“I bet he was defending his territory! You never gave him a chance.”
I interrupted, “Maybe we should hook the cat up to this thing. See what he has to say.” I winked at Fluffy, who calmed down.
Frankie grinned. “That’s a great idea!” And he raced off, coming back moments later with a hissing cat.
I hastily unhooked Fluffy and then it was Fluffernutter’s turn.
The Cat’s Turn
Frankie asked, “Did you try to hurt Fluffy? Did he provoke you?”
Fluffernutter hissed, and then snarled, “Sure I did, and he did nothing. Why shouldn’t I eat the little hairball? The world never gave me any breaks.” He hissed again. “Got to hand it to him though, the hairy rat can take care of himself. Never expected him to retaliate.”
Frankie rushed forward, hugging Fluffernutter, who screamed, “Why do you keep doing that!”
Frankie let go, smiling, “Because you need it. You’re sad, lonely and should be hugged.”
Fluffernutter growled, but I saw a little tear in his eye.
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